hbalsleyLOTFmagazinerewrite

home Hannah Balsley Magazine Response RE-WRITE December 12th, 2009 ** Is it my fault? **   By Mary Merridew Coming in the door from work, I rushed to the phone as it had begun to ring. It was a naval officer that had been working in the war. While talking to him he explained to me that the evacuated plane that Jack had been on went down onto a small island. When he told me that Jack had been found a huge smile appeared on my face. After having so much joy and relief that my son was finally found and safe, I heard the officer utter a “but...” As he walked me through the bad news I could barely speak. He spoke calmly and rationally about the fact that my son was going to be on trial on charges of murdering a fellow friend on the island. I didn’t know what to do, what was going to happen next? As a child Jack was wonderful. I felt that he was a dream child dropped down from an angel. He and I would go to the park and spend most of our days together. He was a very kind and gentle child. When it was time to enroll him into school, I felt that private school was the way to go. When we toured the school Jack really seemed to be interested in the music rooms, especially the choir. As he got older he realized how much he enjoyed the choir and decided to join. He became the group’s leader and I felt that was a good thing. Through his childhood Jack never seemed to have that many friends, so I thought this might help him become a bit more social. The day before he was evacuated they had a choir recital. As I looked on with my husband, it appeared that Jack was talking down to his peers as more of an authority than a friend. That was the last time I had seen him until he was found.  The officer explained to me what had happened on the island and how Jack was involved. He said that the children were only found because they had set the island on fire, another thing that Jack was being accused of. The boys apparently set it on fire to smoke another boy out. When the officer and I had sat down to talk, he informed me about the horrific behavior that he had experienced. He said it was as if they were animals. On one side of the island they found a sort of camp area with a fire and animal remains. The animal was another horrible thing that they are charging Jack with. Jack and many of the other boys were said to have been hunting and viciously attacking a pig. These details made me want to cringe. As the officer went on he also let me know that the boys would chant and paint their faces with their kills’ blood, he said that it made them feel power and a sense of confidence in themselves. I was utterly embarrassed by the child I had somehow created. The officer told me how children react when there is no authoritative figure around and they have to fend for themselves. The murder that Jack is being accused of was a boy just a few years younger than himself. Most of the other parents seem to believe that the murder was part of a group decision. But, the children are saying that there were two groups on the island and one group took over. The detectives feel that the body had floated out into the ocean, because there were no remains left on the island. I just know that my son could never have done such a horrible thing. For now Jack is being kept in and institution and being watched by nearly everyone. He is set to go on trial in the coming week. Hopefully he won’t have much to say and all of this will just go away. A few of the other boys from the island are set to come as well to act as witnesses. The court case will go by quickly since my son couldn’t have done this. I mean how could he, he is only 11. If Jack is convicted he is said to serve anywhere from five to seven years in prison with many restrictions when he is let out. If he is found not guilty he will live his life as the rest of us and hopefully like a child. Often I wonder if this actually did happen. Did I not raise him right? Was it something that happened to him that made him snap? I wish I was able to talk to him for just a short time to get some answer. But, no one will ever know what happened on that island except for that small group of boys.